Blaming yourself or someone else is usually not productive.
Simply accept that they have surfaced, and that they have done so to remind you of something important you need to investigate further. The first of these, and perhaps the most important, is to, “quit treating your feelings as good or bad.” Like so many other psychological and spiritual approaches, this advice reminds us to be kind to ourselves and avoid judging our emotions. The authors provide 15 different strategies to help anyone become more Self Aware. As we learn to “catch” our emotional reactions before we act them out, we become more self-aware and more emotionally mature.
Self Awareness comes alive when you are able to become aware of the full extent of your emotions – whether positive or negative. When we gain mastery in Self Awareness we learn to observe our emotions rather than simply reacting to them. Instead, anger may have arisen because we fail to see the others’ remarks not as a form of criticism or attack, but as a suggestion or even a creative new idea. For example, we may become angry with another person yet not understand that the reason for our anger has nothing to do with what the other person has said or done. With just over one-third of people being able to correctly identify an emotion, two-thirds of us are held hostage to emotions we do not understand and which influence and cause our outward behavior. The Personal Competence factor of Self Awareness refers to a person’s ability to recognize an emotion. While over one-half million people have taken the online EQ test, only 36 percent can accurately identify their emotions as they occur. Becoming emotionally intelligent helps us “intercept” those unexamined emotions, substituting more appropriate behavior for the events in our lives. The trouble is, we’ve already experienced an emotion and perhaps made some kind of quick judgment at the limbic area before we apply rational thought to the event. From the limbic system the nerve impulses travel to the cortex where we make rational decisions. The limbic system is largely responsible for the processing of emotions and feelings. They note that bodily sensations enter through the spinal cord and are processed by the primitive portion of the brain known as the limbic system. The authors begin with a short description of how we perceive and react to what we perceive.